Monday, March 29, 2004

Romantic Times

In romance news, I attended the Romantic Times Bookclub conference in New York City this weekend. The booksigning on Saturday included 100 authors and tons of readers. It was exciting to meet so many fans and my hat is off to the many men who braved the teeming hoards to attend with their significant others. True heroism. These men were not intimidated by the guy from The ABC Reality show, "The Bachelor", nor were they cowed by the bulky brawner in thin chain mail that wandered up and down the hall. I tip my pen to those of you who came merely to support your honey's reading habits.

I'll be updating my blog about once weekly in April due to various booksignings and yes, a book tour in the Midwest. A full report will come out when I'm done. Promise.

Current Events

  • Women uses CallerId to track down obscene phone caller. If only they had CallerID for spam….

  • Proof reader job.

  • In media entertainment news, "Against All Enemies" has become it's own weapon of mass destruction and is exploding up the charts on Amazon and should hit the New York Times list this week. In movie news, it's Scooby-Doo 2, zoinking both Dawn of the Dead and also The Passion of Christ.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Congress and Language

Today’s entry is regarding the HR 3687 bill, which is currently referred to the subcommittee on the Constitution. Yes, this is what our Congress is doing.


H.R. 3687
A BILL


To amend section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, to provide for the punishment of certain profane broadcasts, and for other purposes.
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, is amended--
(1) by inserting `(a)' before `Whoever'; and
(2) by adding at the end the following:
`(b) As used in this section, the term `profane', used with respect to language, includes the words `shot' (NRA lobbyist prefer the purer term ‘wounded’), `puss' (PETA, saying that felines have been maligned for long enough. The outrage must stop), `funk', (after it was determined that the musical group Lips, Inc., was actually John Kerry’s first band) `cant' (all things are possible within the Congress, therefore the verb shall be stricken), `passhole' (as in, that Medicare bill is a passhole of shot) and the phrases `Cheney sucker' (when referring to the Supremes), `mother funked' (when speaking of a certain rock star widow, whose name will not be spoken), and `post hole' (as in ‘that posthole, Richard Clarke’), compound use (including hyphenated compounds) of such words and phrases with each other or with other words or phrases, and other grammatical forms of such words and phrases (including verb, adjective, gerund, participle, and infinitive forms).'.



Monday, March 22, 2004

The Spin on Writing

Okay, I know everything thinks that romance writers don’t do anything but sit around, thinking smut thoughts while watching soap operas and eating bon-bons, but we do more – honestly. There’s been three items about writing that hit me today, and I feel the need to shove the bon-bons aside:

a) salon’s article on mid-list writers

b) Newsweek’s article on Richard Clarke, former US government terrorism honcho, current Amazon bestseller

c) Paul McCartney wants to be a children’s book author

First off, Jane Austin Doe. This is a depressing article; someone who’s making really decent advances and is still having career worries. Lesson to learn from this article? Writing is NOT a well-paying career. The authors who are making money from writing are prolific and have been writing for a long time. I think people tend to see writing as an art, rather than a career, which is nice, of course, but not realistic unless you’re financially independent, or do not care about food.

Next, Richard Clarke, who was on 60 minutes last evening (owned by Viacom), whose book was published by Simon & Schuster (owned by Viacom) and is hitting the shelves today (not owned by Viacom last I checked). To be fair, I should point out that I own Viacom stock as well, so I’m not as much ‘crying foul’ as I am just pointing out the little goings-on that happen A LOT. I want this guy’s publicist. Timing the book to come out during the campaign, the WEEK in which he’s going to testify before the 9/11 commission. Whew! What heaven-sent best-selling kharma. It smacks of scandal, smacks of collusion, and he's going to be on the best-seller list for WEEKS. It's enough to make a writer turn to plagerism and then write a tell-all book about the fall from grace. Oh? It was?

Lastly, Paul McCartney is going to write a children’s book. Haven’t we had enough celebrities write children’s books? Haven’t we reached our celebrity children’s book author quota yet? What’s next? PeeWee Herman? Jacko? Madonna? Oh, she has?

Current Events






Saturday, March 20, 2004

The Art of the Cover

One of the things that attracts attention to the romance novel is the cover and its subject. Covers have evolved over the years. In the 70s, the covers were women in white (usually night-clothes) fleeing over the deserted moors, and always – always looking over their shoulder in terror. You never knew what was chasing them, a killer, Cujo, or the IRS, but the idea was that in order to find out, you had to buy the book.

In the 80s, the glory years of the bodice-ripper brigade, the covers changed. The title was scrawled in elaborate script, and for the first time, the hero took cover-stage as well, and the clinch was born. Usually involved in bending the heroine over his arm, while miraculously removing some item of her clothing with one arm behind his back (literally). A rearing horse was in the background to symbolize the antagonistic passion that flared between the two lovers. A new market appeared, faux book covers to hide what you were reading, lest anyone label you a romance reader. There is a rumor about the clinch, which I don’t know if it’s true or not. Book distributors (the folks who put the books on the shelves at the grocery stores and airports) were predominately male, and thus the idea for the publishers was to have a cover that would appeal to the male eye rather than the female, thus the down-to-there cleavage. I don’t know if this is really true, but it’s a fun story to tell.

During the 90s, the trend went back to solo. Study males with washboard abs, or a headless female body-part (usually a back, or a leg, or a hand). Very tasteful and aesthetically pleasing, and also not nearly as embarrassing as the clinch to the reader. Also, a parallel trend appeared, the absence of people at all. Flowers, jewels or coins were used instead of humans. I don’t see these as much anymore, so I suspect that marketing discovered that people sold better.

It’s always fun to watch the cover trends. They are definitely cyclical, in a follow-the-best-seller sort of way.

As for the process of choosing the cover, no, the author doesn’t get to design their own cover. Publishers DO listen to the author, though. The author will fill out an art fact sheet or else the editor will, and there will be a cover meeting between the editor and the art department to determine what gets chosen. Items discussed include type of book: funny, passionate, dramatic, etc. The characters physical attributes: hair-color, eye-color, and clothing (or lack thereof ). Also, scenes from the book are looked at.

In my historical romance, Touched By Fire, I gave my editor a lot of insight into the cover. I told her that the character wouldn’t be caught dead without clothes, and that he wasn’t rakish or a ladies-man, and shouldn’t be portrayed as such. She agreed with me on all points, and the cover ended up being the scene that I had recommended. It was interesting to see that cover, because for an author, the characters (and what they look like) are in your head and in most cases, the artist’s representation of your characters jars with what you think they look like. But it’s always interesting to see what other peple visualize from your words. With my Harlequin Temptations, you fill out the art fact sheet, which asks a lot of questions about the book. My editor is much better at covers than I am, and all of my covers have turned out better for her input .

A good cover can sell a lot of books, a bad cover can prevent a lot of sales, and for an author, getting your first look at your cover is a lot like coming downstairs Christmas morning. You don’t know exactly what you’re getting, but you’ve got your fingers crossed that it’s good.

Kathleen

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Irish Thoughts

St. Patrick’s day has always been near and dear to my heart, and I thought I’d include a selection of fine Irish proverbs to warm the wee cockles of your heart:

  • Eaten bread is forgotten.
    (Not by Dr. Atkins, it isn’t)


  • Put silk on a goat and it is still a goat.
    (put gold on a building, and we call it Trump)


  • The old pipe gives the sweetest smoke.
    (didn’t they outlaw smoking in Irish pubs, too?)


  • In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
    (ah, an obscure reference to the Taliban)


  • When your hand is in the dog's mouth, withdraw it gently.
    (advice for Mr. Bush)


  • The grace of God is found between the saddle and the ground.
    (and is currently playing in my local Cineplex)


  • Beauty will not make the pot boil.
    (don’t tell Jessica Simpson; she’ll never know)


  • A kind word never broke anyone's mouth.
    (Words to campaign by, Mr. Dean)


  • You can't build a barrel around a bung hole.
    (you can’t build security around a spider hole, either)


and my favorite:

Dance as though no one is watching you,
Love as though you have never loved before,
Sing as though no one can hear you,
Live as though heaven is on earth.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Fun With Learning

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Fun in New Jersey. What exit?

I'll be signing copies of Pillow Talk in various New Jersey Borders stores today. No sit-down singing or anything, however, if you happen to be in the Borders stores in Paramus (both), or Ramsey, pick up a signed copy the next time you're shopping there.

And more promo misc. I'm still collecting entries/names for my Girl Scout cookie giveaway. I picked up the case yesterday (plus two boxes of Samoas, my family's personal fav)
Sign up for my email list and you're automatically entered

And because I've been Internet skimming today,

Current Events:



Monday, March 08, 2004

A Smiley for the Day

It’s been a snowy, wet, cold Monday here and I’ve only written three *#&! pages, so I’m not a hugely happy camper. However, this did put a smile on my face, remarks from head Veep Dick Cheney’s speech at the Gridion dinner:

From the Daily Standard

Terry Hunt of AP wants to know, "Has Senator Kerry had Botox treatments?"

Terry, I have some guidance on that from Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz:
"The Administration takes this development seriously. Botox, of course, is related to the botulism toxin, which can be processed into high-grade biological weapons. We have dispatched Dr. David Kay . . . to search for the bio-warfare agents we believe hidden in Senator Kerry's forehead. If Senator Kerry has used botox as part of a wrinkle enrichment program, he is in violation of U.N. Resolution 752. Upon receiving Dr. Kay's report, the weapons of mass destruction that Senator Kerry so adamantly insists do not exist . . . may well be above his very nose." End of statement.


Who knew that Chaney was such a yuckster? Did anybody else guess that? I'm just tickled about that, and if he's really not that funny, please don't disillusion me, leave me in denial...

And one more thing, I'm having a contest this month to give away one copy of IT SHOULD HAPPEN TO YOU, PLUS a case of Girl Scout cookies!! Everyone who is on my newsletter list will be automagically entered. Click here to enter

Sunday, March 07, 2004

The State of the Big House

Well, they did it. They convicted Martha. All across America, downtrodden housewives are rejoicing in their sweatpants. The Wicked Witch with Ten Tips for A Cleaner Closet is going to the big house, where the closets are empty and the decorating is all done in stripes.

It’s not that I have a great animus for Martha, heck, I don’t even know her. But I’m well acquainted with dust and grime, and any woman who makes it her life mission to shame me in my squalor is no friend of mine.

Did you hear about Michael Eisner? No, no, no. I’ll save that for another day when I’m procrastinating as well.

Okay, feel better now. Thank you for listening. Now I must write (did you really think I was going to go clean house????)

Friday, March 05, 2004

Money. It's a Gas.

I’ve been watching the keywords for my website to see what people are looking for when they happen upon my site. The number one answer seems to be gentleman’s clubs of London. I don’t know if they’re looking for adult entertainment or my article on the clubs from the Regency, but hey, they made it to my site, so maybe they’ll buy a book. <g>

One of the things that people have queried (no one actually asks about this other than nosy relatives or other writers) is money. So, today I’m going to talk about money.

Two definitions to learn: advances and royalties.

  • Royalties are the money paid to the author for each copy of the book sold. This usually runs between 6-10% of the cover price. Royalties are paid out starting about a year after the book hits the shelves.

  • Advances are monies paid to an author in advance of the book’s publication, usually when the book is turned in. Advances for a first time romance author can range from $2000 (this is low) to $4500 (average) to $10,000 (high-average) and more (this it the publishing equivalent of hitting the lottery).


Romance authors have a huge advantage over non-romance authors, mainly because the number of romances released outnumbers all other fiction books released by 2:1. Thus, a romance author can actually make a LIVING WAGE as a writer, which is attractive to most people when they are considering a career. And the other cool thing about romance? A good writer can make a steady living as well. Romance is the bread and butter of the publishing industry and thus, good romances are always in demand.

The more books an author has sold, the higher the advances will go. Obviously, best-selling authors get best-selling advances, but again, a good writer with a steady increase in sales, can make a solid living (i.e. no yachts) from romance.

If you’re considering becoming a writer for the money – don’t. Odds are small you’ll get published, and it takes many years for authors to turn into “over-night successes�. However, if you have talent and time and the inclination, and have a hide thick enough to get you through the rejection phase, then maybe this career is for you after all.

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Writing for $$$

Well, sure enough, advertising has started to seep into fiction. First Faye Weldon with Bulgari diamonds, and now Carole Matthews by pushing the Ford Fiesta. Faye definitely got the better deal (have you ever driven a Fiesta?).

I think this is a grand idea and anyone that wants to be pay me to be included in my books, drop me a line. I do product endorsements and also roman a clef if you want to be know as the "It-Girl" of insert your home town here. In fact, I'd be willing to create a whole fictional character loosely based on you for the right price. You couldn't buy this sort of exposure. Oh, yeah, I guess you could .

Happy Wednesday. It's Springtime in New York and there's no better place to be.

Kathleen

Monday, March 01, 2004

Days of Whine and Chatter

I considered writing about writing today, but it wasn’t exciting, so I don’t think you want to hear about it. In search of something cool to talk about, I scanned my various sources and found nothing that I wanted to write about. The Oscar’s were a snooze-fest, the #1 movie in the box office had subtitles, there’s been a lot of gay marriages (I think that’s an oxymoron) and there’s a revolution in Haiti (yawn).

You’d think something exciting would happen, but the Oscars had a five-second delay and Howard Stern is off the air in some markets. Let’s face it. We’ve been censored and now life is dull. Even Tim Robbins kept his remarks completely PC and sympathetic. How sad is that, that even those that we hope will -- nay, even those we depend on to give us a target for jokes, remain silent and hushed, cowed by the Monty Python foot of the FCC.

The bustier has been popped and there’s no stuffing that genie back in the bottle. I think in protest, tonight I’ll turn off my TV and read a good book. I suggest you all do the same.