New Yorkish

My sister and I went shopping down in Soho and the Village on Tuesday and I thought I'd use this opportunity to correct a few New York misperceptions:

1. Snow in New York is never white. Maybe in Central Park, and then only when a blizzard hits. Usually snow is steel gray and slushy, and is magnetically attracted to light colored shoes and pants.


2. According to the latest Straphangers survey, there are no voices on the subway announcing the next stop, except for maybe the #6 line, which has the newer cars. For more fun information and a breakdown of the cultural phenom that is the New York subway system, go to the straphangers campaign site.


3. New York is no longer the crime-infested Mecca that it was in the 80s. Most of the crime is now weird, although robberies at banks and jewelry stores still seem to be popular. Muggings in Manhattan are rare and make headlines. Harlem is currently undergoing a renaissance and parts are relatively safe. Just think, in a few years, Harlem will be just as expensive and pretentious as Manhattan.


4. According to a little-known city ordinance, two pizza places must exist for every city block, most with the word "Famous" in the title.


5. New Yorkers get 'on line', not 'in line'.


6. There are always cars and always noise. Quiet does not exist, except sometimes on really heavy snow days, and even then, the snow plows are out. So, nuke that "quiet city" definition.


7. There is always a ConEd repair truck on every city block, and the workers are usually standing around drinking coffee.


8. Potholes are perpetual. Road crews repairing the potholes are perpetual, but for some mystical reason, the potholes never go away.


9. Alternate side parking has nothing to do with alternate side parking.


10. The only sport in New York is baseball. Everything else is a "hobby."

I think that's about it for today. If I think of anything else, I'll add it.