World News Today

Pentagon reveals new H-bomb! Apparently the Pentagon spanked development of a chemical weapon designed to promote rampant homosexuality within enemy troops. Other possibilities included "swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats" or "lasting halitoses." It's the new face of the war on terror.

In a completely unrelated move, MTV Postpones Gay Channel's Coming Out until June.

Yes, following cutting news is just one more way to procrastinate while writing.