The Best of 2004

It's that time of year again. The list season, that time of year when we all go back over what has happened during the year and pick the best, or alternatively worst. Well, since my temporal region has all the recall-ability of the FDA, I decided to improvise, so here it is:

The Best Books Never Written in 2004

1. The Definitive Expose On Adhesives: A Complete History from Epoxy to Duct Tape by Janet Jackson


2. They're Just Not That Into You: The William-Morris Agency's Writer's Guide To Rejection


3. America, The Sequel: A White House Guide to Tourism in Iraq


4. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Orange by Martha Stewart


5. Bushworld, Enter at Your Own Risk by Paris Hilton


6. The Plot Against America by Michael Moore


7. Reading Lolita in Paktia by Osama Bin Laden


8. The Amateur Marriage by Brittany Spears


9. Rewriting History by Bill Clinton


10. The End of The Democratic Party: Religion, Terror, and the Future of NASCAR by Karl Rove

In today's good news department, I found the New Year's Eve anthology, IN ONE YEAR AND OUT THE OTHER on the Best-seller rack in Target. We're #9! In today's bad news department, any mention of Dick Clark's death in my short-story in the above-mentioned New Year's Eve anthology were written many, many months ago, and were not in any way intended to perpetuate his demise. Here's to another two decades of New Year's Eves, Mr. Clark….