Interview with the Devil
There was a cool article about fake news in the NY Times today, about how satire is suddenly cool, and apparently all the big guys are getting in on it. First Dan Rather, next up, Tom Brokaw will be interviewing Paris Hilton to get her perspective on the candidates. In light of this breaking development, (and because I'm butt-deep in Diva promotion right now), I decided to do my own interview --- with the devil (actually, that's the devil according to me, the author):
Kathleen: Hello, all, and welcome to this Week in the Author's Den. Our guest today is a woman known by all, some more closely than others. She's Lucy, otherwise know as Queen of the Underworld, AKA the devil. Lucy, welcome to my show. How are you feeling today?
Lucy: Marvelous. It's a great time to be Satan these days. So much wickedness in the world. What can I say? I'm just proud.
Kathleen: So, tell us a bit about the Life Enrichment Program. You were just interviewed on 20/20, and the next day the Post said that enrollment jumped 25%.
Lucy: Isn't Barbara lovely? I've tried to recruit her, but sadly, she says she's happy. I'll wait another 20 years when the jowls start to show, and then talk to her. The program is actually very simple. You convey ownership to her soul to moi, and then let the good times roll. When you first sign up there, you get non-life forms object creation, AKA if Wishes Were Birkins. Each time you bring another client into the program, you receive an additional level of powers. Level 2 is body-beautification, or My Salad Days Are Over. These go on up to Level 9, which is transitory life-forms creation. As you can see, I've worked very hard to provide all the things that people are missing in their ordinary lives and our clients are very satisfied. Women join at a higher rate than than men, although men usually come onboard in their 60s.
Kathleen: Well, this sounds like you stay very busy. But you've got a day job, too, don't you? How do you do it all?
Lucy (blushing modestly): Yes, I write gossip for the New York Post. It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it. And I don't sleep much anymore. I used to get a good night's sleep when I was younger, but as I got older, I have some problems, so I write to fill the time.
Kathleen: Can I just say that I love the Post! I know there are those who poo-poo it --
Lucy: Yes, and then you catch them reading it when they think nobody is looking.
Kathleen: Absolutely. So, what's up next for you?
Lucy: I'm working on a book about the program, and then they're redoing Rosemary's Baby next year, and I'm going to serve as creative consultant. I'm very excited. PR is what makes the world go round and nothing like Hollywood to bring in another thousand souls.
Kathleen: Well, it's been marvelous talking to us. Don't be a stranger.
Lucy: Of course not. And by the way, Kathleen?
Kathleen: No, absolutely, not.
Lucy (shaking her head): Okay, but if you change your mind, you know where to reach me….
Kathleen: Hello, all, and welcome to this Week in the Author's Den. Our guest today is a woman known by all, some more closely than others. She's Lucy, otherwise know as Queen of the Underworld, AKA the devil. Lucy, welcome to my show. How are you feeling today?
Lucy: Marvelous. It's a great time to be Satan these days. So much wickedness in the world. What can I say? I'm just proud.
Kathleen: So, tell us a bit about the Life Enrichment Program. You were just interviewed on 20/20, and the next day the Post said that enrollment jumped 25%.
Lucy: Isn't Barbara lovely? I've tried to recruit her, but sadly, she says she's happy. I'll wait another 20 years when the jowls start to show, and then talk to her. The program is actually very simple. You convey ownership to her soul to moi, and then let the good times roll. When you first sign up there, you get non-life forms object creation, AKA if Wishes Were Birkins. Each time you bring another client into the program, you receive an additional level of powers. Level 2 is body-beautification, or My Salad Days Are Over. These go on up to Level 9, which is transitory life-forms creation. As you can see, I've worked very hard to provide all the things that people are missing in their ordinary lives and our clients are very satisfied. Women join at a higher rate than than men, although men usually come onboard in their 60s.
Kathleen: Well, this sounds like you stay very busy. But you've got a day job, too, don't you? How do you do it all?
Lucy (blushing modestly): Yes, I write gossip for the New York Post. It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it. And I don't sleep much anymore. I used to get a good night's sleep when I was younger, but as I got older, I have some problems, so I write to fill the time.
Kathleen: Can I just say that I love the Post! I know there are those who poo-poo it --
Lucy: Yes, and then you catch them reading it when they think nobody is looking.
Kathleen: Absolutely. So, what's up next for you?
Lucy: I'm working on a book about the program, and then they're redoing Rosemary's Baby next year, and I'm going to serve as creative consultant. I'm very excited. PR is what makes the world go round and nothing like Hollywood to bring in another thousand souls.
Kathleen: Well, it's been marvelous talking to us. Don't be a stranger.
Lucy: Of course not. And by the way, Kathleen?
Kathleen: No, absolutely, not.
Lucy (shaking her head): Okay, but if you change your mind, you know where to reach me….
posted by Kathleen at 12:40 PM
1 Comments:
Thanks for the smiles!
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