What Comes Around must go around as well....

I took a day off yesterday (have you ever heard of writer's block?), mainly to do mundane slice of life things that you don't want to hear about because it will spoil your image that I sit around all day, contemplating the pure perfection of the male form, thinking up new and unique ways to say "purple-helmet warrior of love." All while eating bon-bons.

Grocery shop? PLEASE. My cabana boy does it for me.

Now then, where were we... Ah, yes, lots of fun going on in the publishing business.

• Paris Hilton's book proposal is up on www.smokinggun.com


• The Nanny's have been blacklisted (or blackballed, depending on your opinion of them)


• And now Armin Meiwes wants to tell his story in both film and book form. Who is Armin you ask? The German Hannibal who was recently cleared of murder charges because his victim agreed to be eaten.

This has nothing to do with publishing, but everything to do with Uncle Walt finally resting in his grave. There are talks, rumors, innuendos that the Mighty Mouse might finally be outting Michael Eisner. All those who saw Treasure Planet, please stand and applaud.

I saw where Ben Cohen (of Ben & Jerry's) is the author of "50 Ways You Can Show George Bush the Door." Now, I can forgive Madonna, Barbara, Ashton, Martin, et al of dabbling in politics because these people are not an intimate part of my life, but am I the only one wondering who is left to make the ice cream? Is Jerry going solo? I mean, do you see Tim Russert out there playing with Chunky Monkey? I don't think so. Ben, Ben, Ben, your gifts are too treasured, too precious to the security and well-being of this country for you to leave the creamery in the hands of amateurs. Valentine's Day is approaching. Millions of women will be needing you as they spend the night alone. One pint, one spoon, and thou. I'm just disappointed that you would dessert us like that....