Breaking News!

This just in. Al Qaeda claims responsibility for the RWA Rita/Golden Heart Ceremony in Reno. The ceremony involved a montage of tragic events that covered the last twenty-five years. Audiences sat in stunned silence as they watched clip after clip of the lowest moments in American history. In a tape just released from Osama bin Laden's #2 man, they indicate their unhappiness with "the tyranny of hot paranormal romance." In an obscure line, one of the demands mentioned is the return of Fabio to the famous "clinch" cover, which is the term used to describe a man and a woman in a passionate embrace. Al-Zawahiri states: "We will not rest until his pectorals once again flow like heated lava across bookstores everywhere."